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  • Mike Komara

Crucial Conversations Needed Before Getting Married

Updated: Jun 5

You've found the perfect mate, and now you're planning your wedding. Now may seem like an odd time to talk about money. Before you marry, however, you must have the Money Talk.


Mindset of Money and Beliefs

It's no secret that money is one of the most common sources of conflict in relationships. So before you and your partner can start working together on your finances, it's important to discuss your overall philosophies about money. Do you view it as something to be hoarded or something to be spent? What are your thoughts on debt? Do you take a long-term or short-term view of financial planning?


These are just a few of the questions that you'll need to discuss. In addition, it's also helpful to share stories of both financial success and financial setbacks. Doing so can give you insight into how your partner copes with financial challenges and whether they are able to learn from their mistakes. Ultimately, having this discussion will lay the groundwork for a strong financial future for both of you.


Be on the Same Page About Your Financial Backgrounds

It's no secret that money can be a touchy subject. After all, our financial situation is a major source of stress for many people. But did you know that your views on money are largely shaped by your early experiences? If you want to understand why your partner is so frugal (or so reckless), it can be helpful to take a look at their financial background.


How were money and finances viewed in their home growing up? Did their parents stress the importance of saving, or was spending encouraged? These early experiences can have a big impact on our adult lives. So, if you're curious about your partner's views on money, try asking about their childhood. It may just give you some insight into their current financial habits.


Many develop scripts about money in childhood that carry into adulthood. Learning about how money was viewed in your partner's home when they were growing up can help you understand how your partner developed their views about money.


You may find that you and your partner have internalized views about money that you didn't realize you had. Your backgrounds and views about money aren't likely to be identical, and you may find that they differ significantly. If this happens, seek some common ground, such as agreeing to pay household bills on time and each setting aside a certain amount for a joint savings account. Then allow each partner some latitude in spending and saving beyond the agreement.


Life, Financial Goals, and Family Traditions

Once you understand your financial pasts, consider your financial future together. What goals do you share? For example, do you hope to raise children? If so, how will that impact your lives, incomes, and finances? Do you hope to own a vacation home someday? Or do you hope to travel in retirement? You'll talk through each of your goals and what you need to do financially to make them a reality.


It's important to have a clear understanding of your financial pasts before you can start planning for your shared future together. Once you know where you both stand financially, you can start setting some goals. There are endless possibilities, but it's important to sit down and talk through what you both want to achieve. Only then can you start working out a plan to make those goals a reality. Finances can be a difficult topic to talk about, but it's essential if you want to build a strong future together.


Debts and Credit History

When it comes to finances, one of the most important things for couples to discuss is their debt. This includes not only the overall amount of debt each partner has, but also the details of each debt, such as the interest rate and minimum monthly payment. It's also important to discuss each partner's credit history. This can give insight into how responsible each partner is with money, and whether there is a risk of future financial problems. By discussing these things openly and honestly, couples can make sure they're up to speed financially and avoid any potential problems down the road.


Knowing each other's credit scores can be important because they will affect obtaining loans together, such as mortgages. If one partner's scores are low, talking honestly about it can help the couple develop a plan to get out of debt and improve their credit score.


Spending and Saving Habits

It is important to discuss your spending and saving habits with your partner. This will help you to understand each other's financial needs and goals, and to ensure that you are on the right page when it comes to your finances. You should discuss how much you each earn, as well as your regular expenses. This will give you a good idea of your monthly budget. You'll also discuss the amount of savings you have on hand and how much you each save from each paycheck. This will help you to plan for your future financial security. By openly discussing your spending and saving habits, you can ensure that you are both on the same page when it comes to your financial wellbeing.


You'll also discuss the amount of savings you have on hand and how much you each save from each paycheck. Part of this discussion might be whether you have a budget and how well it works. Another part of the discussion is about what you feel is worth spending money on and what isn't? The discussion might also include whether each of you needs to save more to meet your joint financial goals.


Managing Money Together

Having widely different views on money is not uncommon. People are raised in different home environments. The key, however, is to figure out how you'll manage money together. You could decide to combine your finances thoroughly with joint accounts. Or, you might decide to maintain individual accounts but contribute to joint accounts for household expenses and savings. You'll also discuss whether you need a prenuptial agreement and how to develop one.


Money is often one of the most contentious issues in a relationship. If you and your partner have different views on money, it is important to figure out how you will manage your finances together. One option is to combine your finances thoroughly, with joint accounts for all your income and expenses. Another option is to maintain individual accounts but contribute to joint accounts for household expenses and savings.


You will also need to decide whether you need a prenuptial agreement and how to develop one. By taking the time to discuss your financial goals and expectations, you can help ensure that money does not become a source of conflict in your relationship.


Regardless of the logistics of your finances, you'll want to be on the same page financially. Both partners will contribute to the financial goals they establish, even if the contributions are different because of salary differences. Adjusting to making joint decisions on finances is challenging, especially for those who've been single for a long time. However, making joint financial decisions is the key to a thriving marriage.


How to Have an Honest Conversation About Money Before Marriage


Set a date for the Money Talk. Choose a time when you're likely to be most relaxed, and choose a power-neutral spot. Be honest with your partner about all your finances. Marriages are built on trust. Be open to your partner having been raised with a different money philosophy than you were and be willing to work toward a joint resolution.


When it comes to discussing money with your partner, it's important to be honest and open about your financial situation. After all, money is one of the leading causes of stress in relationships. By having the money talk before you get married, you can avoid any surprises down the road.


Quick Recap

Here are a few tips to help you have a productive conversation about money:


1. Define your financial goals. Do you want to save for a house? retire early? travel the world? By being clear about your goals, you can develop a shared plan for how to reach them.


2. Discuss your spending habits. Do you like to splurge on weekends? Are you a bargain shopper? Talk about your different approaches to spending and see if there are any areas where you can compromise.


3. Be honest about your debts. Do you have student loans? credit card debt? medical bills? It's important to be upfront about your debts so that you can develop a plan for how to pay them off.


4. Talk about your income. How much do you make? What are your career goals? Discussing your incomes will help you understand each other's financial situation and set expectations for how much money will


Solas Wealth can help you develop your financial goals and a plan to reach them. We integrate a coaching aspect that helps your money work better for you. Connect with us to schedule a









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